03 March 2016

Things We Don't Talk About



We all have things we don't talk about. Fiascos. Flounders and missteps. Broken promises and wrong turns and failures of the heart. We hold close the things that make us feel most alone - the things that make us most human.

Everywhere, every day, people are NOT talking about things. One thing I'm not talking about: how completely inadequate this current housing market is making me feel. I'm trying to buy a house and I get elated every time something in my price range is listed! I make time in my schedule to go look at the house. I walk through - sometimes with dozens of other people also searching for their forever-home - and imagine myself living there. I fall a little bit in love, which I know is a mistake, but I can't help it. I make an offer and cross my fingers.

The house sells for $80,000+ over asking price. I feel defeated and battered.

And it keeps happening. Over and over and over. Find house > fall in love > get priced out of this ridiculous market. So I'm not talking about it. I try to not even think about how I should have bought sooner or gone into a different career to make more money or written to Bill Gates to get him to sponsor my life. I just don't talk about it.

But that's a mistake. If there's anything I've learned from writing this blog, it's that people respond the most strongly to all things personal. My most popular blogs of all time have been about feeling vulnerable (at a date auction), being disappointed (in a trip abroad), struggling with a pivotal life-choice, and coming to terms with a decision to quit climbing. These blogs aren't spectacular. They're no more well written than my other blogs. But they're me in the most me way possible.

Writing is personal. It should be. It's me and my "pen to paper" and my hopes and dreams that someone, somewhere, will open their heart and mind as a result of what I have to say. We all want that. That personal connection to help us feel like we matter.

That's why, today, I want to encourage you to stop. Stop suffering in silence. Stop NOT talking about the things that scare you. You deserve to not feel sad and lonely and alone. Words carry power, and a tremendous opportunity to help us connect with each other and build a community of support. We are equally molded by failures as we are by successes. It's time to start talking.

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