05 December 2011

The Rules of Obtaining an Action Figure Mascot

After poor Spidey went to the great Spiderweb in the sky, we had a number of other Action Figure Mascots. Specifically, Allison had a few short lived AFMs who were acquired with specific trips in mind. There was G.I. José, or Joselito, who went to Mexico but was captured by the Federales and didn't make it back alive. Then there was Jose Christo, who traveled to Belize to preach and save the natives from their sinful ways. Finally, there was Sailor Moon, or MoMo, who started as a children's toy and was promoted to AFM, only to literally fall apart on us in Boulder.  
Joselito, never to be seen or heard from again
Jamie + Jose Cristo + Allikeeno in Belize = Countless saved souls
No arms.  No Legs.  Good thing she can walk with that hair!

The daunting task of replacing Spidey fell to me as I was about to embark on a grand adventure to Hong Kong. Allison, as President of the newly formed Traveling Action Figure United Coalition, or TAFUC for short, gave me the following assignment.

ATTENTION: Your mission should you choose to accept
You must obtain one action figure deemed worthy of participation on said grand expedition to the city of Hong Kong:
  • Action figure must be acquired before travel or not later than the second day of travel  (i.e. if you don't get little man before leaving you better get one asap in China).
  • Action figure may be of any gender or non-gender
  • Action figure must participate in all activities
  • Action Figure participation must be documented
  • Any behavior or personality traits action figure inspires must be allowed to occur naturally
Don't let us down!

As this was quite serious business, some clarifying questions needed to be asked:
  • Can we have two action figures?  Can we have an action figure posse?
  • What if the posse of action figures was stuck to a skateboard that we pull around by a string behind us?
  • Can we dress as life size action figures?
  • Can we get huge stuffed animals from the fair to be our action figure?
  • What if we paid a Chinese man to be our action figure?

To which the TAFUC provided the following answers.
  • There may be only one action figure otherwise Attention may be diverted and action figure jealousy is a dangerous thing (however, Siamese Twins are appropriate).
  • No skateboards!
  • Life size action figure not acceptable.  
  • No paying to rent action figure, action figure must complete the trip back to the US.

So with mission in hand I departed on a few very long flights!  My first full day in Hong Kong was spent entirely on a search for THE ONE. After a trip to numerous markets with zero results, I was discouraged and despondent. In a last ditch effort which can only be described as miraculous, the search ended at a closing Toys 'R Us store, where, there, on the closeout rack, I met GRANDPA MAX!
Saved from the closeout bins
Grandpa Max where have you been all my life?!?!?
In my next blog, I'll tell you more about the grand adventures of Grandpa Max! He's pretty awesome.

I'll leave you with this, further proof that anyone who is anyone travels with an AFM. Straight from the blog of Mumford & Sons, a photo of their AFM: Pete Roe. See you soon at Deck the Hall Ball M&S!

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